Recent Finds: Naptime Tales: New Year's Resolutions for Moms

So, I am notoriously bad with follow through, and have never kept a new year resolution.  As i welcome my first New year's as a mom I am surprised at my renewed interest in resolutions.  I think it comes in part from a desire to continue to evolve into the best parent I can be.  It also comes in part from a trying year of struggling - struggling with am I the parent my mom was, am I a good parent, if I ask for help does that mean I am a failure and so on. So when I reopened my blog (I haven't written in it in almost 2 months) I was excited to see the following blog post that truly strikes a cord with me.


Naptime Tales: New Year's Resolutions for Moms:

Mommy Advice

Patience Should be a Four Letter Word

Patience.  One of the blogs I follow, Amazingly Awake, had an interesting point in her ezine I got this week. I started following her through a post on Pinterrest – “25 ways to be a Calm Parent”.  Now being a working mom, and step mom, I am the first to admit that I am not always patient.  It can be hard when one is pulled in 20 directions at once. So I eagerly looked at her site, and signed up to follow her via email.

The email I got earlier this week before embarking on my trip was o ne that included a patience challenge.  When I first read the email I was struck at the irony of getting a patience challenge as I was embarking on a solo trip with a six month old.  

Being an ICU nurse and practitioner, I am not well known for patience.  In fact, I have often said that I skipped that line when traits were handed out.  As long as I can remember, I have been less than patient always wanting things done right in the quickest manner possible.  I could give you a million reasons why I have not been patient – I could tell you it was beaten in to me.  In fact, that wouldn’t be far from the truth.  That however, is a separate story. 

 Have recently realized that my drive for perfection is dangerous to my happiness as a wife and mother.  I feel as is if in order to show my family how much I love them, I have to have the perfect home, and get everything done.  My husband, bless his soul, has often tried to tell me that I show my love in other ways, not just in how many chores I get done. I admittedly have had a hard time believing him.  Perfection has been ingrained in me as the way one establishes ones worth.  My drive fpr perfection often makes me less than patient with my family and life in general.

As part of the Mom Challenge, the first one was to slow down.  This was a difficult one for me and one that is going to take more than 1 week to work on.  However, it does go along with patience quite well.  Things are not going to be perfect 100% of time and that is ok. Things are not always going to get done on my schedule.  As long as the important ones get done in a timely manner I have to learn to live with that.  I may not get the dusting done but if the clothes are clean and the family fed and happy then it is ok.  The dusting, vacuuming, etc are chores that can wait for another day.

Traveling with Baby!

So this past week I embarked on my first trip solo with Jack.  We set off to my visit my grandmother and grandfather and introduce Jack to his cousins and great aunts and great uncles. I was terrified to be perfectly frank. 

Being me I procrastinated until Sunday to start looking for tips etc, and to pack.  Did I mention that Sunday was my fourth 10 hour shift in a row? Yep add on to that Jack was sent home from daycare on Thursday with his another cold/fever and you have a mommy on the verge of a breakdown.

Luckily one of my coworkers and friends was working in the stepdown unit with me and she has traveled much farther with her young children, to Canada.  So I picked up some handy tips from her and was feeling pretty good again.  Then I googled traveling with infant and got a little scared.  The information out there ranged from the extreme of don’t do it ever to travel and be proud, babied cry etc.  I went home from work, and finished packing by about 10pm and got ready to get up at 4 am.

So up I got getting ready and the car packed before waking up Jack.  I got him dressed and we told Daddy bye and headed off.  Our trip got off to less than a stellar start with a minor traffic accident on the way to the airport.  I was shaken but neither of us were hurt and I believed the car to be driveable.  So I get unloaded at the airport.  I manage to juggle the luggage, the carryons, the stroller, the carseat, and the baby.  Still shaken I attempt to maneuver my way into the airport by myself.  I get part of the way there and lose the luggage for like the fifth time.  A nice stranger came up to me and said he would help me get my bags to the counter.  I could not thank him again.  He said no problem, he and his wife had traveled with an infant before.  I thought to myself, man this trip is looking up!  Then as I was checking in as people passed me I started to hear people say things such as God hope he’s not on our flight. I was like really?  He’s still asleep in his carseat.  I tried to ignore it but after hearing it close to 2 dozen times I got a little paranoid I mean up to this point he hadn’t even let a peep out yet.

Then the travel gods smiled on me.  There was another mom traveling solo with a 5 month old little boy.  Forget that he was twice the size of Jack I was just excited that I wasn’t a pariah alone.  We ended up sharing a three seat.  The flight attendant said well if someone wants to sit here one of you will have to move.  I asked him if he really thought someone would want to sit with us and he laughingly said no.

Jack did pretty good sleeping until landing in Houston.  I never thought I would regret the fact that Jack didn’t take a pacifier.  Then came the landing in Houston where I couldn’t get him to swallow or suck enough to pop his ears.  All of a sudden here was the baby that everyone worried about having.  He was miserable, screaming and carrying on.  Then all of a sudden you could tell his ears had popped and he let out the hugest smile. The mom sitting next to me said that even though there were bumps that she would consider my first trip a success.  Her praise made me feel so much better about embarking on the journey alone. 

There would be more ups and downs on the trip but no matter what I knew that it would be ok.  Some people would always prejudge moms traveling with babies, and some people would always be there with an encouraging word.

Mom Challenge

So I happened upon this challenge on pinterest.  I know I'm starting it a bit late but I think it will be very useful.

Week 2 of the Challenge is to slow down.

slow down mummy, there is no need to rush,

slow down mummy, what is all the fuss?

slow down mummy, make yourself a cup tea.

slow down mummy, come spend some time with me.

slow down mummy, let's pull boots on for a walk,

let's kick at piles of leaves, and smile and laugh and talk.

slow down mummy, you look ever so tired,

come sit and snuggle under the duvet, and rest with me a while.

slow down mummy, those dirty dishes can wait,

slow down mummy, let's have some fun - bake a cake!

slow down mummy, I know you work a lot,

but sometimes mummy, it's nice when you just stop.

sit with us a minute,

and listen to our day,

spend a cherished moment,

because our childhood won't stay!

~ R. Knight

(Source

This poem is listed on the challenge and I agree with the blogger that it is a very good reminder to slow down.  On another parenting blog I saw a figure that there are only 900 weeks of childhood.  I know it might sound like a lot but with today being Jack's 6 month birthday I am struck at how first time goes by.  

It is easy to get caught up in lists of things to do.  It can also become a source of resentment if you feel like your list is never done.  So this week I resolve to slow down.  Letting the laundry sit or waiting on the dishes, won't be the end of the world.  I'm gonna take time to cuddle with Jack, to play with my stepson and to take time to enjoy our little family.  For Jack is definitely growing way to fast.  It seems like just yesterday that the only time he would sleep was if I held him on my chest.  Now he only wants to cuddle when he wants.   I caught myself thinking earlier today that I wished he would want to be cuddled at an easier time.  Now I wish I could take that thought back, for it won't be to long before hes going to be running wild after his brother. 

How do you slow down though?  How do you slow down without feeling like you are letting your family done because the chore list isn't done?  That will be my struggle this week. 
Any ideas or suggestions?